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Marjorie and her mother

I held my mother's hand until her last breath. She had metastatic melanoma and had faded away to a skeleton. It was horrendous watching her and not being able to do anything to ease her suffering. Following this I nursed my bedridden husband for 18 months while he also, a former big-muscled man, faded away to a skeleton. I do not want to die like these much loved people.

"I now have pancreatic cancer - one of the deadliest cancers."

The doctors have told me they can give me no further treatment and not to expect a long future. Although I am still alive I am far from healthy. I know that as my end nears, the pain will come and any amount of pain killing treatment will not stop it. Even though there are people who believe it is their lot in life to suffer at the end, I don't believe that palliative care is the answer for me.

"I can't see the reason for prolonging pain when there is no hope of recovery."

Politicians in particular need to be educated on the end of life suffering of many people and introduce laws that allow doctors to prescribe end of life drugs to people who request it.

Marjorie Lawrence, January 2017

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